...and I thought I was expecting a baby..'

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I belong to a gym. That's it, I belong to one.

...I'm not going to DO anything...I'm just drying the towel...

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....and I've got Argos weights which I use during Eastenders. I go to Boots (CVS if you're in the States) regularly. Now, I need a lie down. This year I've lost weight. That's because I've been up shit creek. I've done the break up and the misery in earlier posts, so I'll spare you any more of that.

Walk the walk, don't talk the talk. (I talked)

A friend gave me Top Sante magazine. I read it in bed; with my arms outstretched. That was enough exercise for one day. When I'm in the zone I love to swim. But I've just been shattered, most of the year. They say life shocks do that. 'Get out and walk, it'll boost the seratonin (feel good) drug in your brain.'

The Real Life Marley and Me...

I walked alot earlier this year. And got melancholy when I saw labradors and spaniels in the park (child substitute maybe); displacement emotion. It got embarrassing. 'Can I throw Marley his ball?' I would ask the dog dad or mum rather lamely. They thought I was weird but let me go ahead. I did it and then burst into tears. Not great and the dogs got very worked up.

Mrs Hope knows help is coming, do you?

Once you get into being sick home alone, it's not so bad. Being freelance means you don't earn. That's tough. Avoid the brand name painkillers; they cost. I thought of getting one of those alarms they have in the Sunday Mags. 'Mrs Hope knows help is coming, do you?' You hang it round your neck, and press it when you pass out on the bathroom floor; either from a hair dye overdose (that's a mid life thing), or chronic runs. Mrs Hope was very good about lending it me. I think she died of a heart attack in the end.

Get yourself a 'die alone' sweater

Comedian, Sarah Mulligan says she has her own 'die alone jumper'; it's got cats on it. Stagger out up the shop wearing that, and it should alert some kind soul. I have a deal with a few mates who live alone. 'You're to call me if you feel funny, J.' 'Well that's most of the time,' he says. 'Yeah, but only if you feel REALLY funny.' And so on.

Grow old with me dot co dot uk.

We're not meant to live this way. I've bought this domain name called 'grow old with me dot co dot uk.' The idea being; people who have just slipped through the mating and dating net, could may be live near each other. My gentle church community, Moot, in central London's got this idea about commuuooonity. I almost like the thought of it, but I would want my own space and then be 'next' to people, maybe in the same street. And truthfully, I'd be a bit funny about lending out the car.


...Run or not to run? Jog or not to jog? Walk or not to walk? Stay in or stay in? Stay in, then.