2. Aug, 2017

After: 7 Months, 30 + viewings: 2 flat flops; 6 Sure roll ons, I have MOVED. I can find plenty of

 Pots?  Yes. But NO pants. Pillows? Yup. Pants? No. New 'Fast Clumping' cat litter? Check. Still. No. Pants. After 13, no 14, a -Stephen-Hawking-infinite-universe no of boxes. No. Pants. Anywhere.


I'd moved into my new manor after:7 months; 30 viewings, 30 estate agents 'n speed dial, 30 sec Rightmove alerts all day every day,(cuddly toy: a 'Generation Game' conveyor belt: back-on-TV-no-launch-date-yet) 2 previous flat 'yeses', then 'no – but..', (microwave), 100 plus miles walking; google maps upside down, no car, sold; (Kenwood Mixer).

All this, a challenge for an Olympic standard executive functioner. 'Executive functioner'? Translation: 'person who thrives on admin. and knows they bought an extension lead 2/8/91; they still have the bank statement'.


 Believe me I WAS organised. Very. But my BRAIN is not a naturally ordered organ. Skyping sister in tears, (she was a brilliant help because she DOES have a brain that puts things in the right drawer), and THEN not finding the lease, when I had FILED it, was the least of it.


 Fast forward to the first week post move; (never thought I'd say that), and the deed was done. Literally. Delayed for eons (the deed), by Freeholder lawyer who thought she was Glenn Close in 'Damages' / 'Jagged Edge'. But, things were not dusted by a long chalk/marker pen/biro. Couldn't find those, either.


 Back seized, right hand went on strike and the new recycling system had me ripping off labels from baked bean tins, believing this to be a council requirement. Terrifed my 'black box', (bottles/ plastics) would remain coke can full, with a fine slapped to its side, I began to overcompensate. Brexit angst? Mild, compared to 'Tin label tyranny'.

 My move: from my dear old dollshouse sized flat, to my equally lovely, 'shade smaller', version (with shared garden: shared by 10 cats, that is), was to cut costs. So I can, with midlife abandon, and serola belt tightly fixed; (new chiropractor tip; I could hardly walk; too much box lifting), write my play/book/vlogs/podcasts. And; perhaps; just do NOTHING for five minutes.


 Second week after move, a good friend gave me a lift back to my new manor; it had been a sweaty, and demanding working day. She was relentlessly upbeat about the location, living room, and the rest; despite a serious litter tray whiff. Still, the new 'fast clumping' Maizy will sort that. Bought from new (to me) Pet shop, I have already signed up for 'puppy hour'. I have a cat.

Praps I should add to my linkedin profile? 'Fast clumping Clare'; under duress? She'll just soak up the mess. Oh, I found pants. In box marked survival kit, next to grouting.

 2nd August 2017