5. May, 2017

Why don't I just LEAVE the Hoover? Front room UN vacuumed. Cable, snake like, staring at me?

Ever done that ? Run out of va va voom and left it? Glaring. At. You.

Dust mountains build. Cat hair lingers; regrouping itself as a sofa 'throw'. (Cat scarpered quick, can't stand the roar). The job's not finished, and you're considering throwing yourself UNDER the cat fur throw, and not coming out. Ever.


'You're letting yourself/life/'home management, go'. This the most accusatory mantra of our age. Crime of all crimes. Haven't got your flat stomach back, 3 days after giving birth? The Daily Mail would put you in jail. Failed to get into the top ten up n' comings under 30/40 list? (If your name's not there by 50, hide under the stairs, NOW).


Our Ever note phone planners buzz hysterically, always everso in your face. The tyranny of the urgent, sabotaging what you or I REALLY dream of. A spot of daydreaming? Off with her head! Want to begin the novel/meditate/pray/sew velvet onto a Primark T, lie on your back with your 2 year old and count nothing in particular? Flights of fancy missus!


It's only when I collapse in a heap under a mountain of unanswered mails, texts and whatsapp 'by the ways', that I realise I'm out of juice. It's such a human trait to focus on and generate outside busyness, rather than face the maelstrom inside. Driven by all those 'not good enough' narratives in our head, the distractions can push us to the edge of a perfectionist precipice.


I am (just about) learning to take stock BEFORE the sickness, job loss, break up, death, curve ball brings me to an emergency stop or punctures my external puffery. Do I really 'need' that gig/lipstick/love affair? Is it possible that Brexit/the election/ Treesa and Jezza, will carry on without my undivided? Do I 'have' to wash every sock or mug before I sit down? I know the answer, and so do you. That's why I 'sometimes' leave the hoover in the middle of the room. Try it. Dull people have dust free homes anyway. Mind you, I'd LOVE a Dyson. 

IMAGE: http://sorry-about-the-mess.co.uk/2012/08/26/we-review-the-hoover-globe/