23. Nov, 2016

...OOEEER... HERE COMES THE BLACK FRIDAY CRUSH. YOU COULD TAKE OUT INSURANCE IN CASE OF INJURY, BUT.

even that's going up, along with the price of baked beans.'Insurance costs to rise again after Autumn Statement tax increase.' The good news? The Government's cracking down on fraudulent whiplash claims. Phew. All's well then. 

Meanwhile, I've been SO worried about 'protecting my lifestyle.' The man with the square jaw and chiselled cheekbones who seems to appear in EVERY Saturday newspaper sparked off the terror. He looked so 'together,' with his 'not too loud' tie, his well cut suit, and carefully clasped fingers. There wasn't a rancid sandwich, baby sick or a cat hair in sight.

TIFFANY'S OR TK MAXX? THE BLACK FRIDAY FUNZOID QUESTION.

This square jawed hashtag 'not to much bling boy, it's common', success story is urging you/me to 'put ourselves into a position of financial independence. It gives you choices.' Couldn't agree more. I imagine he has plenty of them. He can't sleep because they're all circulating in his carefully coiffed head. It must be so tough. 'Should my Porsche have a leather interior? Do I need that private plane, or should I economise and go first class? And what about the poodle? OH NO! Last year's collar is SO vulgar, dump it. Less IS more. Perhaps we SHOULD flirt with a little austerity, to show willing'.  

THE 'CARER PLUS OPTION'; REALLY HIKES UP HEALTH INSURANCE..

Once upon a time I had health insurance, but I had too many exclusions; (in the end no school would take me). Once you reach mid life it's like a second mortgage. Someone in the evils department is 'avin a laugh. 'Aha AHAA AH HA HA (theatrical sniggering) not only are you getting older, but you're going to get boils, a funny twist in your fibula (?) and start foaming from every orifice.  And you want HEALTH insurance? That'll be a thousand quid a month plus another five hundred if you want the 'carer' option. I'd die now if I were you.

Add to this, Chancellor Hammond's insurance hike: ' UK households will pay an additional £680m next year, rising to an additional £855m in 2021/22'. I know, time for a lie down. 

MONEY MIRAGE

I'd REALLY like a 'life's going to be fine, it'll all work out in the end providing you put the rubbish out,' insurance policy. As if. This illusion of control is just that. A mirage where you put your money in case of a 'rainy day.' The Brits must be the most heavily insured nation in the world, then. My umbrella's up, thank the LORD  I've paid this year's premium.

LIFESTYLE CHOICES: I KNOW, MOST OF US HAVE SO MANY......

Lifestyle choices. mmmmm. Eat breakfast, walk to the tube/bus, pitch for and hopefully get work and fix the boiler; (called a man in as the premium for this protection was, well, too premium.) Then I might have a jacket potato and beans later watching Missing. So? It's a lifestyle. This week  BBC Newsnight reporter, NIcholas Watt, dug up (not literally) an old Essex girlfiend who'd once snogged the teenage wannabee Chancellor. This may well prompt a new kind of paid for insurance protection The 'Spare me the embarrassing teenage memories on the telly when I'm REALLY important', policy. Ever the meticulous planner, I am sure Mr. Hammond already has the first copy in his big red ministerial box. 

image: everydayminimalist.com